So. I trust him. More than anything. I know he’d tell me – and I know that he’d tell me before if this was a romantic or potentially intimate date. But he’s out with another woman. One from the ago. Recently separated. And I’m in my head. All of my attention is given to R… Continue reading In my head
Watching him plan his trip The epic adventure that I 100% support and grieve that I can’t be part of. i love a man who has always had one foot out the door. And it’s all of the cliched “If you love someone set them free” stuff. I’ll never say no, don’t, please stay. Because… Continue reading Things that are hard
Gods I’m sobbing at 12.45am and I haven’t even gone back to work yet. I’m so fucking tired. People will ask me about holidays- and I’ll make polite small talk, but this isn’t a break. This is coordination and management and booking in car repairs and bathroom repairs and play dates and trips and adventures and… Continue reading January Burnout
So I’m sitting in the lounge watching binge eps of SVU on headphones. He hasn’t spoken more than three words to me all day. I thought I’d done something wrong at first – but then he put my hand on his cock, so he feels that everything is fine. I want to cut. I want… Continue reading Lonely
Dear K Ok. So. Every day. You’re intimate and in contact with him every day. He hasn’t reached for me in days. And I get it- I now know my place in the world. I am homemaker, housekeeper. Provider of food, wine and clean shirts for work. I am domestic simple. You have all of… Continue reading An open letter
“I just work here”. That was the most truthful thing I think I’ve managed to say out aloud in a long time. And it’s true. Everything I do is in service of others. I run a house, I do my job. I’m on beck and call for my Year 12s, for my daughter for my… Continue reading Work?
So. We’ve played together – which has been fun aside from the loneliness. She makes a beeline for him, we do small talk and then they leave… which is great – just faster than me. Then I’m left…. alone and awkward. He reminds me of C and I’ve said it aloud – just … haven’t… Continue reading Shiny new things
It’s been a while. And no. I don’t have the answer. I must have skipped that year. We live together now. In a little house that I purchased. We work at the same place too. It’s a whole thing. And tonight we’re off to play with a couple he found on the internet. There’s a… Continue reading 43
B has a boyfriend – it’s serious, they’ve met each other’s parents – in the three weeks since he blocked her “forever”…. I can’t bring myself to ask why he connected with her again. Am I that uninteresting and undesirable? Am I that bad that he has to go back to someone who he blocked… Continue reading And again
N – maths science – from school. Local, cute. Consumated last night – while I medicated to sleep. I am ok with him fucking other people. And I know now, for that to happen he needs to not be with me. I’m tired of being invisible. Of being unspoken about. He tells them he “wants… Continue reading Thank you, next?
Reinventing the wheel 