Thank you, next?

N – maths science – from school.

Local, cute.

Consumated last night – while I medicated to sleep.

I am ok with him fucking other people.  And I know now, for that to happen he needs to not be with me.

I’m tired of being invisible.  Of being unspoken about.  He tells them he “wants to see other people” – not that we have been together for 4 years.

That he might like to sleep with other women.  Not that we have an established relationship.

The deal was he’d find women to share – once again she is hard core monogomous, disgusted by the idea of group sex and not at all interested.  So…..

Oh – and this was after he cut ties with B – he lasted 7 days … 11 before a physical meeting.

I so wish he had someone in his life to call him on how lucky he is to have what he has and that perhaps he should consider that he might be taking me for granted – pushing the friendship a bit.  It’s all for him.  It has been months since he came to visit me – months since he made any effort.  But if I pull back and he makes no effort… we wither and die. He already has a replacement.  I have nothing.