Watching him plan his trip
The epic adventure that I 100% support and grieve that I can’t be part of.
i love a man who has always had one foot out the door. And it’s all of the cliched “If you love someone set them free” stuff. I’ll never say no, don’t, please stay. Because I’d never hold someone back from something they need.
Their needs come first.
My needs aren’t enough on the scale.
How do I shift that?
Where is my worth?
He still talks about K nearly every time we fuck. Like, you’re inside me, thinking of other women. It’s starting to become a thing that makes me really step out of myself. But I swallow it and keep up the effort because if I don’t, he’ll not come back.
I’m the reason he’s stayed. I’m holding him back. I feel awful, but I don’t know how to manage without him here. The idea of him leaving is terrifying, but I can’t say that outlould because then maybe he won’t go and it’ll be blame and resentment and all of the guilt.
I’m stuck loving a man who needs to be anywhere but here.
Reinventing the wheel 