Dear C

I take it from the silence that you’re focusing on yourself and your relationship right now, which makes sense – the future should be a priority.  That being said – I feel pretty hurt that you’ve not at all made any effort to acknowledge or recognise in any of this mess that you’ve hurt me too.

It was nice that you apologised to S – finding out that your affair had been disclosed on Christmas eve meant that even if you didn’t expect it, our days were affected too.

Yes – we have an open relationship.  I enjoy his exploits and he shares with me most of what he does – it is how we work.  But it works because we are honest.  He knows when I’ve been with others.  We don’t keep secrets and we don’t lie.  You lied.  You fucked him, repeatedly and lied to me.  You kept it a secret.  He told me – but you didn’t.  You told me he was an ass in July and that he was bad news and that he was no good for me.  How long after that were you sleeping with him?  Did you even stop? After telling me he was selfish and hurtful.

That’s called cheating.  So yes… you cheated on your fiance – but you also cheated on me.  Now I know why you would run out of the staff room when I walked in.  Now I know why you stopped chatting to me.  None of which you needed to do.  But maybe you did – to make it right in your own head, hiding it from everyone – generally a good indication that what you were choosing to do was not the greatest of choices.

Now to the future.  I hope that you make some good choices – but I doubt that you will.  That you invited me to your bridal shower kind of suggests that you won’t.  You were so vocal about being so desperately unahppy – so desperate to get out.  You put yourself out there – fucked other people in a myriad of different places – sent photos, footage, endless messages.  That was all you – you did that.

You haven’t spoken to me in a month – did you honestly expect me to say yes?

Did you seriously expect me to want to spend a weekend with you and your family?

If you want to talk, I’ll listen – but let me be clear – until you acknowledge that you cheated on me and that perhaps I too deserve some kind of apology, we’re not friends.


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