Wait, what?

How did I end up hosting again?  With less than 2 hours notice?

They both do the passive aggressive “I’ll come over if you want company”…. fucking use your words please.  If you want to have sex and do all the things you tell HIM that you want to do to me… then here’s a tip – talk to ME.

And if you want intimidating – if you want me to Mistress, I need more than a few hours of notice to put her on. Neither of them understand how much I need to shift gears mentally to take on that role.

He told me not to be silly, that he’d get there before her –  nope.  She came in and sat and did “awkward” on the couch as I predicted.  So once again, I step up, take charge….  and both of them – naked and fucking…. I drank my wine and swanned in and out of the room – I am not sure I could have been more disinterested.  I tried – I participated and all the things – but in reality I’m done.

I don’t find her attractive enough to persist (and he said much the same thing last night).  Once again all the work was us – no reciprocation or engagement.  Yes. She’s young, green and inexperienced – but she also plays the starfish too well.  I like my partners to make an effort.  School motto, kids – deeds not words.

I did like stripping off my clothes for him while he fucked her.  I love the unspoken communication we have some times – and feeling like the more desirable object in the room helps.

But yeah…. fairly tame for a school night.  Although my back is ripped to shit.

And did she speak to me at all today – make any kind of eye contact – say any kind of “thanks for last night…. I had fun…. how are you….”….. nah….


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