Why bother

He comes to me

He fucks me – inventively and well.

But then he leaves.

This time, he took the time to take the cuffs off, to help me stow the rope.

But he still left.

I don’t know how to tell him that when you fuck someone like that – when you whisper in their ear that there will be no mercy, that you’re not to move – that it does things to their head – and that then just leaving isn’t ok.

At least hold my hand for a moment.

And I get it – he needs to drive home – it’s a long way and it’s a late night and all the other pragmatics…

But last night he left and I felt so empty.

Haven’t cried like that in a long time.

Boys are stupid.

 

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